Never Forgive You
by Setkia
Summary: He's selfish. He won't— can't let Kurosaki lose, because if he does, then she'll fall and yet at the same time, he wants her to open her eyes and see that there's more to the world than orange haired idiots with giant swords.


_**Author's Note** : During the rescuing Rukia arc, I came to the conclusion that Uryû and Orihime were destined to be together, based on the way she seemed so comfortable around him (to the point of changing in front of him, though it could have been her ditziness) and how he had sworn to himself (and sort of Ichigo) that he'd hate Ichigo forever if he lost (in so many words). However, after watching the Hueco Mundo arc, I got Orihime and Ulquiorra in my head, but I always wanted to write a story about Uryû and Orhime. This story is dedicated to **ShayL92** , who said that they would like me to write an Ishihime story. I hope they like it! I made Uryû to be a bit awkward and such, because I just think he's an awkward character, but I love him anyway and I haven't seen the ending of the show yet (episode 310, I'm ALMOST there!), but I do know that Ichigo loses his powers. Again. So sorry for any inaccuracy. Most of Uryû's thoughts are occurring during a canon fight, except for the ending. I don't own **Bleach** , please review! No flames! Also, this is officially my 20th story on Fanfiction! I hope to you guys, it's a good one!_

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 _ **Never Forgive You**  
By: Setkia_

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 _"She knows that if she tries to help, she'll just be in the way. Plus, even if she is able to help Kurosaki wouldn't want her to. She knows all of this, but she is still clenching her whole body, as if trying to stop it from taking action. Inoue is waiting, praying that you will be safe, believing you will return. Don't lose Kurosaki. If you lose, I will never forgive you!"  
_ - _Bleach_ , Chapter 164: _That Who Change the World_ , Tite Kubo

 **i.**

 _Baka, you're going to get yourself killed!_

The thought is racing through his mind, his lips are almost open, but he holds it in. He doesn't utter a word and instead clenches his teeth, setting his jaw so he won't speak. It doesn't matter if he does, Kurosaki won't hear him.

Looking to the side, he can see her.

She's trembling. Her eyes are unsteady and though its well-hidden, it's not quite hidden enough for him not to see it. She's worried. She believes in his strength, she wouldn't have come if she didn't, but she's terrified that he'll get himself killed. His idiocy could easily kill him, that he knows, but he keeps quiet.

There's hope in her eyes and it shines brightly.

He'll be damned if Kurosaki lets her down.

Because he's observant. He sees these things. He knows what she feels for him, even if he wasn't observant, he would know. It's in the way she lightens up around him, the way she tries to make things seem better than they are so he doesn't worry and his frown won't deepen. He sees how, even before those two orange haired nimrods came into his life, she always spoke about him. During club meetings, it was her main focus at all times and it irked him to no end.

What was so great about this Kurosaki Ichigo anyway?

And when he had first realized that Kurosaki had become a shinigami, he wasn't impressed. This was just another reason to dislike him— no, to _loathe_ him. Because honestly who ever liked the man— _boy_ , who the beautiful princess liked? He supposes though, everyone likes the tall, mysterious and handsome type.

Ishida is tall. Ish.

And he's also handsome. In a geeky, last person to be picked, sewing emergency kind of way.

Okay, he knows for sure that he's mysterious.

One out of three.

That's not enough.

What was even more laughable was when he saw him fight for the first time. The baka had no idea what he was doing. He swung his sword around wildly and thought that by continuously cutting at a Menos, they'd shrink and become more manageable. What a laugh.

Ishida is smart. He's logical and analytical and he takes his time with things and he's the brains of the whole operation- with the exception of Youroichi, but that doesn't matter to her.

While Kurosaki doesn't mean a damn thing to him, Ishida swears that if Kurosaki lets Inoue down he will never forgive him.

 **ii.**

It feels a bit different to be the one she's worried about. It feels very different.

Just because he can't use his Quincy abilities and they're lost forever does not mean that he's useless. He has a steady and strong mind and they would be lost without him.

But he feels like his identity's been stolen.

Quincy. That's what he is. No, what he _was_. It's the only thing that's certain. He has pride in that fact- _had_ pride in it— screw it, he was still proud. Once a Quincy, always a Quincy. Because he needs something to drive him the way protecting others drives Kurosaki.

That battle with the crazy captain, he doesn't regret it. He did what had to be done. But he wishes perhaps he could've held onto them a little longer. His powers were what made him even somewhat remarkable and now that they're gone, he's a dead weight.

The Bounts will catch up and they'll all end up hating him and he can't stand the thought of that. Of _her_ hating him. The others he'll find a way to deal with it, besides he and Kurosaki aren't that close anyway and Kuchiki certainly won't mind and he never really fit in when he stood next to Sado, so he shouldn't miss this all that much but he will.

He won't miss the idiots. Kami no, he's heard enough idiotic comments from them to last him a lifetime— five lifetimes in fact. But her …

He's not quite sure what it is. Maybe it's because she looks so weak when he finds that perhaps she's the strongest of them all. Because unrequited love isn't easy. He should know.

Having her worry for him is very different. In fact, it's kind of pleasant but it won't take long before those motherly instincts become murderous and she'll want to snap his neck for weighing her down.

But that's a lie. She isn't like that. Because even if she should ever get it through her stupid mind that he's no use now, that he's excess, she'll tell him gently and softly and the term "killing me softly" will take on a whole new meaning to him.

But Inoue seems to think he's important and as much as he can't believe it, he knows that if he were gone, she'd be slightly upset. And while he's waiting for them to kick him out like they should have long ago, he silently wishes Kurosaki won't because if Ishida is the reason for the frown on her face, it'll be Kurosaki's fault and he will never forgive him.

 **iii.**

It's his fault. It's all his damn fault.

 _Baka, can't you tell when someone's being strong for you? She did this for you, you're undoing it all right now!_

And while he knows what Inoue's intentions were, to go quietly and silently, with no complaints to display her lack of dependance on Kurosaki, Ishida knows that really, she does depend on him and wants him to find her even if she keeps telling herself otherwise.

And it's confusing because he wants to find her, but he doesn't want Kurosaki with him. He can admit that while yes, he does have his abilities back now, he is still not the strongest. Because during that time without practice, Kurosaki got better.

At this rate, Ishida will never catch up.

He wants to save her himself. He wants to be the one who saves her from her locked tower, the one she decides to lean on instead of Kurosaki because Kurosaki doesn't see and Ishida does and if Inoue would just look in a different direction and maybe glance to her left instead of her right she'd see that he sees and that he feels what she feels. And then maybe she can direct her feelings towards him.

Because he knows that unlike Kurosaki, he's not blind. He wouldn't focus on that midget who's probably still hung up on her old captain, no, he would bring his attention towards the neglected beauty who enjoys strange foods and tantalizes him more than her bizarre meals tantalize taste buds. He would give her the attention she deserves.

So he'll go to save her alongside the one whom he's always overshadowed by and he'll go without complaint because while perhaps Kurosaki now means something more to him than he did a few months ago, he's never going to mean as much to him as a certain hairpin wearing person who shall go unnamed but everyone already knows who she is. It's not that hard, but she's as oblivious as Kurosaki when it comes to seeing those who hold affection towards them.

Because if she waits for him with no answer to her silent call, then she'll cry and break down, but she'll try to be strong and she _doesn't have to_ , not with so many people who want to be strong for her, and the strain will wear her out and it'll all be his fault.

Damn Kurosaki, how can he possibly be the very cause of the problem and yet also be the remedy she wants?

If she never gets her antidote, Ishida will never forgive him.

 **iv.**

 _If you do this, you'll become a killer!_

He has to stop him, has to stop his rampage but instead Kurosaki merely brushes him off and cuts off his limb, leaving him feeling numb and hopeless.

She's scared. It's in her eyes, shining brightly, brighter than the hope she held that day on that damn hill, and it terrifies him.

She isn't supposed to be afraid, she's supposed to be comfortable. She isn't supposed to be crying, she's supposed to be laughing. She shouldn't-she isn't— she can't—

 _KUROSAKI, IF YOU HURT HER …_

Ishida can't think of a way to end his threat. There's not much he can do, not with a missing limb and not with the fury in his mind. Even if he was holding a bow, he wouldn't be able to aim properly with the rage coursing through his veins.

She's coming to heal him and perhaps that's what's important to her, but all that's important to him is her and if Kurosaki becomes a killer, if you're scared of the one you love, what does that do to the mind?

What does that do to her carefree smile? What does that do to her laughter that sounds like tinkling bells? What does that do to her happy-go-lucky words? What will happen to _her_?

 _If you hurt her …_

Then what? What will he do? What can he possibly do?

And then he comes to his own realization and he swears that this fight has to go on and that perhaps the Espada should sever his limb as well (fair is fair after all) but Inoue's crying unshed tears when they go back to battle and Ishida has to bite the inside of his cheek.

He's selfish. He won't— _can't_ let Kurosaki lose, because if he does, then she'll fall and yet at the same time, he wants her to open her eyes and see that there's more to the world than orange haired idiots with giant swords.

So he'll try to snap him out of it, prevent her love from becoming a killer, but he'll bite his tongue and wonder what would have happened had he stayed put and maybe her illusion of a perfect man would be tainted, even just a little.

And while perhaps he doesn't want Kurosaki to be her knight in shining armour, he'll be damned if Kurosaki becomes a murderer in front of her eyes because of her, because that will only lead to her feeling guilty and if Kurosaki makes her feel guilty, he will never forgive him.

 **v.**

It's over. It's finally over.

The stupid war is over, the stupid shinigamis are back in control. Of course, not everything is the same as they begun in mid-May when Kurosaki Ichigo first took his place as a substitute shinigami, but things are manageable now.

Not normal, but manageable.

And in the damage control, she's shaken, obviously and she's clearly in shock and there no way he can let her continue on this way and of course, the damn baka lost his powers _again_ , so now its mainly Ishida checking for spiritual energy again.

"Ishida-kun?"

He turns to her slowly, unsure of if she's actually addressing him. For the past few months, all of her attention has been focused on that damn shinigami— _ex_ -shinigami and now she's talking to him.

"Yes?" he replies, his voice caught in his throat. What does he say? What can he say without sounding like an idiot? Probably nothing.

"Thank-you."

Ishida's eyes widen against his will. _What did she just say?_ She couldn't have just thanked him because there's nothing to thank him for, no reason for her to give him that grateful smile because he _didn't do anything._ He hasn't done anything; he's only ever observed.

"For what?" he asks and he's scared to hear the answer.

Inoue smiles at him and he swears, he's blinded by her light. "For everything."

She's making a step towards him, she's trying to connect with him in a way she's never tried before. She's taking that step towards closeness, the step towards what could possibly breach this unstable, uncertain friendship.

If he doesn't take this chance, he'll never forgive himself.


End file.
